Inhale to Prepare

mother. wild and free.

when i was little my mother moved at a frenetic pace.  she was a woman of her time, that is to say, influenced by feminism and eager to prove herself strong, worthy, competant.  she raced and chased and siezed; she went after what she wanted for us (expensive early education, lessons and clubs and enrichment opportunities in every free moment).  and just when the racing and chasing was making us all dizzy, my mother could stop it all, spear a moment in time with a magical plan, and enchant us with her softness, independance, and sense of adventure.  if her daily life was modern, frenetic and achievement-driven, her pauses were her true signature.  she was Annie Oakley, Bonnie Elizabeth Parker and Laura Ingles Wilder.  in those moments we could all breathe and see one another.  and in those moments she was a mother like no other.  she was wild and free and limitless.  she was fun and fresh and mesmerizing.  this version of my mother was my drug of choice and i had a thirst for her intoxication that left me aching and breathless.  my mother conected me to the natural world,  inspiring me to seek my solace in the earth's steadiness, wildness and freedom.  thank you, mom, for giving me the best parts of you when i needed them most.  thank you for teaching me to stop, breathe, and pause for magic.

 

it's time

just posted on craigslist:

household help sought for family of seven in decatur. or almost-the-Brady Bunch seeking part-time-Alice.  once upon a time, we had it down-- i think. . . at least some of the time there was order and cleanliness, beautifully prepared organic food, hand crafted awesomeness, cuddles and book reading and picnics.  and then sometime during the 5^th baby’s 1^st year the balance majorly shifted.  if there are going to be cuddles and book reading and picnics this mama is going to need some serious help with the house.   looking for someone with an eye for order and a penchant for detail to bring his/her A-game to our home 2-4 hours a day; 5 days/week for routine housekeeping.  be hardworking, on-time and fastidious, and because we will be together so much, please also be fun, sweet, inspiring and honest.  $-- per hour and a whole lotta love, laughs and yummy food in return.  

because these darling children deserve folded laundry.

 

tagged

these days

. . . are fiery. sweet spring, i love you so. how your bursting playful side flirts with us.

My entry to win a free Canon 5D Mk III via @CameraBag 2 (http://bit.ly/cb2-5d) #cb2giveaway

 

leavin on a jet plane

sharing sundays

i love this article and have come back to it many times since i first read it. we may not be loving every minute of it, but when we are grounded, we know that even the most difficult parenting moments will pass. can we make choices in the most difficult moments that are aligned with our highest knowing-- even if they're not celestial choices, they can be simple, effective ways of getting through tough times that we can feel proud of later, when the blissful moments (children sweetly slumbering) cast their light on the day, revealing its shadows.

 

{this moment}

{this moment}

a friday ritual (a little late). thanks for the photo, Paige!

{this moment}

 a friday ritual shared with Soulemama, "A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

ode to mr. o

this post was written yesterday, however; this week is winter break and with 5 children at home, i just didn't get around to actually posting it. 

some say on Valentines Day the birdies choose their mates.

a couple of weeks ago i attended a yoga workshop that brought me home all filled up and fired up. i was feeling so much space, possibility, enthusiasm. overflowing with ideas, i got to thinking about my husband (as if concentrating on myself wasn't enough). and how he might want to feel like i was feeling (oh dear). and with all the grace of a freight train i approached date night with a few observations and suggestions my dear husband might find useful (yep, i sure did).

and i couldn't quite grasp why this approach flattened my sweetheart. until i ran it by my long time friend Shelly (currently staying at home with her three young children, putting her tremendous coaching skills to use helping small budget friends like me function like a big-budget super mama.  my family thanks her for her generosity).  Shelly helped me see that what i really wanted was for mr. O to be with me in my experience.

on date night i might have asked him to be with me as i recounted for him all my elevated feelings and crystalline thoughts. in the interest of championing our closeness, i could ask him to share in my experience instead of wanting him to have an experience like mine. and so i apologized for steam rolling him and he forgave me (instantly. he's really good at that).  

so when the saturday before valentines day rolled around and it was time to celebrate (mr. O works too late  for us to go out on a date on a weeknight) we made big sexy plans to hit the whole foods market for staples like coffee and cat food and then share a dessert (or two) somewhere (which ended up being here, thanks to Mandy). and i tried again.

with my expectation shifted just that little bit, i asked him to be with me as i shared some recent experiences.  he didn't have to weigh in or feign particular interest. he knew just how to be with me, as he has, mr. steady and true, for something like 18 years. 

 

18 years of valentines days and trash days; new religions; spiraling in and spiraling out, we have grown up together.  ablaze with each other from the start, we rekindle often (one scorpio + one cancer = a lot of water). we keep trying again. and it's just as fun as it ever was. thanks mr. O for being my valentine.